This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
