Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
