fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize