Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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