Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
how does that bad decision feel?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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