i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize