One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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