You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
