If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
