Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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