just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
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We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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