Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
