we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
