Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
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