i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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