My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
