i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
whose parrot is this?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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