You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
