Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
