butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
