Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
