She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
