Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
