i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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