I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
