I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
