so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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