My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
