obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize