Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
