By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
