the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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