bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
