I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Is it because I queefed?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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