best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
