Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
