Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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