How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
