That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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