Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
How does one acquire holy water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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