PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
