Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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