I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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