just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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