Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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