They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
