Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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