I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
There's always time for handjobs
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
