ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
