He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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