Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
