girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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